trying on a new outfit

In regards to me moving to San Francisco..

"thats the thing about Jen, she has no idea what she wants so she just does all these random things...."

The person who said this is someone I have not talked to in over a year. The fact that this was said doesn't bother me at all, but it got me thinking...

I want to go to San Francisco.
I want to get a degree in business-marketing.
I want to move to move to Colorado after I get my bachelors degree & live there for one year to declare residency & then get my masters out there.
Some day I want to raise my family in Colorado.

I know exactly what I want to happen. Am I sure if any of this will go as I WANT it to? heeeck no. Is anyone?? I think everyone has an idea of how they'd LIKE their life to pan out & so we try our best to make that happen. We make decisions that help lead us to that desire. We try out new things and if it doesn't work we try something new. If you never tried out new things then how would you have any idea what you truly did desire? I have a friend who was accepted into sfsu and he decided to decline that acceptance. Obviously it had been something he at one point possibly wanted, but until that opportunity was actually handed to him he didnt realize that was not what he truly did want. How could anyone ever criticize someone for trying out new things to find what they want???? I hate this analogy but its like clothes.. we try them on in the dressing room to see what fits us best. Sometimes something looks like itll be perfect but it turns out looking awful. Then we eventually grow out of certain clothes & have to buy new ones...

aaaand I'm beginning to ramble. I have had so much on my mind this past week that I cant even think straight. There have been a handful of 'fork in the road' decisions that have been placed in my lap this week.. I have spent the past few days going over each choice and trying to put aside 'what I want' and doing what is best for myself & my future... decisions decisions decisions...If only I could read the last page first..

pachelbel rant

gary gulman

maggy & milly & molly & may

maggy and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
its always ourselves we find in the sea

E. E. Cummings

I am second

I walked 300 miles this weekend

I went to San Francisco this weekend. Any doubt that I was having has now subsided. I absolutely love it in the bay area and cant wait to wake up every morning there. Its not a place I could imagine living for too long, but for the next couple years I can see it as home. I took a flight up there early (as in 6am early..) friday morning with Virgin America. Side note: if you've never flown with Virgin America I highly recommend you do. They're new so they have the cheapest flights (under $100 round trip to san fran) and honestly have the coolest planes. In front of each chair is a touch screen computer that you can play games, watch tv (mtv, cnn, disney, msnbc, fox... pretty much all the prime channels), start a chat with people in any other seat on the plane, listen to a huge list of music they have, GPS telling you where your plane is, browse the web.... list goes on.. all for FREE. & for a few bucks you could buy a movie if you want. So say theres a cutie few seats back, send her a lil message (pretty much exactly like AIM) and say whats up. All around awesome plane, kept me entertained the whole 1 hour flight..

Anyway, got to san fran, took the Bart (aka my new best friend) from the airport to the city & spent the day doing tourist stuff. Had lunch at this place in Fisherman's Wharf called Scomas, so yummyy. san fran definitely has some good seafood..Ended the night with an Irish Coffee (mm mmm) and a couple glasses of wine. Woke up the next morning and walked from our hotel downtown to the Bart. On the way they had a farmers market along the street so checked out some of that, got a few free samples.. also saw 4 wild parrots just sitting on top of one of the buildings. I was convinced someone took their birds out for a lil fly but apparently they have wild parrots in sf....took the bart to Daly City which has a free shuttle that takes you to SFSU. Walked around my campus for a few hours talking to people and figuring out what classes I need to take for my marketing major and also looking into different transportation that's available. You either pay $300 for a parking permit or $45 a month for a Muni pass (just another type of transportation people use around SF). According to everyone I talked to, its harder to find a parking spot on campus then it is to find a parking spot downtown SF so depending on where I live ill most likely just get the muni pass. Its weird how San Diego honestly has NO good alternative transportation.. we have the trolley which the few times I've rode has taken forever and it really isn't convenient unless you are going to the chargers/padres game. besides that what do we have? I like that I'm gonna have so many other options to choose from when I go up there.. I still plan on taking my car but we'll see how much I really need it.



i hate heights


the bart


just entering the city from the bart


you win, too hot for boots


being my usual cool self


pretty lady we ran into on the streets


just a typical awkward picture of me..


bath salts mmm


dads company, Boudin Bakery


they were kiiisssinggg


helping my mom pick out sunglasses...success


congested china town


oh china town, how I love to not fit in


walk to union square




nap time..it was a long, LONG walk..


Union Square




taking the cable car back to the hotel



Irish Coffee (coffee, irish whiskey & whipped cream is a deadly combo)


WILD PARROTS!


not something you see in san diego


downtown SF weird spider sculpture


beautiful bay bridge in the background


bart



After touring my school, went back to the airport, got dinner and flew home. Short but needed trip. weirdest thing, on the flight home just as we were about to start decending, I start getting the weirdest feeling in my head. My forehead started to get that tingly feeling you get when your foot falls asleep.. I tried to be calm about it but it got really intense so my mom noticed and was convinced I was about to pass out. Probably has to do with being so sick & congested and the pressure from flying.. note to self: never fly sick. left starting to feel better, came back with a fever :( Besides that, I looked at my different options on where I want to live and I pretty much have it down to 2 areas. My next obstacle is going to be finding an affordable living situation and a job. I know it will all work out though. Plan is to be up there by August.


"what most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things”
— unknown

journey begins

I told SFSU that I'll be going there in the fall..
I guess its official now.

"There are no short cuts to any place worth going."