from a distance

“many things—such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly—are done worst when we try hardest to do them.”
— C.S. Lewis

made my day

Thank you, Chuck

this is where I want to be today.
With a coffee in hand & you by my side...
"We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else”.
-Chuck Klosterman

my week summed up

A couple from our church invited Rocco and I to their 1 year olds birthday party that was going on today. At first I was a little worried about going because I didnt want to feel awkward with a bunch of families and then two random college kids.. but ended up having the most fun. Ran around for awhile with all the kids, got all the kids to jump on Rocco and tickle him (the usual), played a little duck duck goose, then ended the party with a good conversation with some of the adults. The pastors wife was there and came up to Rocco and I thanking us for everything we do with FloodKids. She was saying how her son is constantly talking about us and how excited he is about sunday mornings now. Its so amazing to know that not only do we feel so blessed to have this opportunity to run the 5th/6th grade classroom but that the kids are being impacted just as much.

Emilie is moving up to San Fran now :) Woooo... didnt think I could get any more excited about this move but that definitely topped the cake. 3 more months left here.. Just booked a flight to go up there in May t0 start looking at different places to live.

Last Friday went to Dave & Busters with everyone (peter, drucker, kerp, adrienne....). I don't know how anyone can say that place is not fun. Its like a chucky cheese but for adults, amazing! Definitely wish I would've got a little more skee ball in while i was there but had a good time regardless. The end of the night could have been better but I wont get into that......

Last night Rocco and I were planning on going downtown towards the waterfront area and decided to stop at the used book store first to look for a gift for one of his buddies. (side note: I could get lost in a used book store for hours. Its like opening a treasure chest when you find one with a handwritten message on the inside.. "to peggy, with all my love...." Always makes me wonder the story that goes behind the giving of that book.. who the people were.. what compelled that person to give that certain book to the other person..where they were in their lives.. the older the book the better.) As we were getting out of the car this homeless man walking by with a cane stopped and started up a conversation with us. He asked if he could have a dollar to go buy a 99 cent burger and we said we didnt have any cash but would walk with him there and buy him something on our debit card. He accepted. Ended up being a really cool guy. Made me realize how much I miss going downtown and visiting the homeless. His name was Hubert and he had a cute southern accent :)


“So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It’s probably worth it.” — The Beach

risk

I decided to change my major..

I'm going to major in accounting
& minor in marketing.

Also, started watching The Office
Officially OBSESSED with Jim & Pam
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3


"There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go."
— Unknown

trying on a new outfit

In regards to me moving to San Francisco..

"thats the thing about Jen, she has no idea what she wants so she just does all these random things...."

The person who said this is someone I have not talked to in over a year. The fact that this was said doesn't bother me at all, but it got me thinking...

I want to go to San Francisco.
I want to get a degree in business-marketing.
I want to move to move to Colorado after I get my bachelors degree & live there for one year to declare residency & then get my masters out there.
Some day I want to raise my family in Colorado.

I know exactly what I want to happen. Am I sure if any of this will go as I WANT it to? heeeck no. Is anyone?? I think everyone has an idea of how they'd LIKE their life to pan out & so we try our best to make that happen. We make decisions that help lead us to that desire. We try out new things and if it doesn't work we try something new. If you never tried out new things then how would you have any idea what you truly did desire? I have a friend who was accepted into sfsu and he decided to decline that acceptance. Obviously it had been something he at one point possibly wanted, but until that opportunity was actually handed to him he didnt realize that was not what he truly did want. How could anyone ever criticize someone for trying out new things to find what they want???? I hate this analogy but its like clothes.. we try them on in the dressing room to see what fits us best. Sometimes something looks like itll be perfect but it turns out looking awful. Then we eventually grow out of certain clothes & have to buy new ones...

aaaand I'm beginning to ramble. I have had so much on my mind this past week that I cant even think straight. There have been a handful of 'fork in the road' decisions that have been placed in my lap this week.. I have spent the past few days going over each choice and trying to put aside 'what I want' and doing what is best for myself & my future... decisions decisions decisions...If only I could read the last page first..

pachelbel rant